The Itsy Bitsy Bikini

I bet you thought you were going to see a picture of me in my bikini—sorry to disappoint you, but…don’t want to scare you off!!

Something happens to the Japanese woman once she has children—she suddenly seems to lose her identity and her life is wrapped around her children’s. She is no longer ‘Yoko’ or ‘Keiko’ but now she is ‘Masao’s mommy’ or ‘Yumiko’s mommy’ or simply ‘obasan’ which basically means ‘aunt’ and is used by kids to refer to a woman who is not a grandma but is not a young girl anymore—I have graduated to those ranks!

Now that it’s summer, I find myself reflecting on the fact that I have rarely seen a mother swimming in a pool, or beach, or river, with their kids, or even just by herself. I’ve seen them wading up to their ankles, or perhaps even up to their knees, but rarely full-body-in-the-water, wet hair, smeared mascara swimming! Actually, I can’t hardly recall seeing a mother with her kids in a bathing suit, or at least just a bathing suit. By that I mean, they may have the suit on somewhere underneath the other few layers of clothing on top, I’m sure it’s under there, but I can’t say I’ve seen it. Or else their suit is pretty close to a set of clothes so you could easily wear it out shopping as well.

What am I getting at you ask, (I think I’m asking myself the same thing!) Let me tell you a conversation I had 3 years ago with some of the local mothers, a conversation that finally got concluded a couple of weeks ago with my other foreign friend.

My son used to be part of the local soccer team, which meant I was now a soccer Mom, and every so often I was on soccer-Mom-duty. I showed up to the practice or game and helped pass out drinks, keep an eye on kids during breaks, bring the coaches coffee or water, look after first aid situations, stuff like that. I happened to be on duty for a game, during which many other moms show up (for the record—I never showed up when I didn’t HAVE to, poor Jason!). It was spring, warm in the sun, chilly in the shade, and we were standing around talking. I wasn’t really listening too closely, but I picked up at the word ‘bikini’ and tuned in. It was sort of to my embarrassment that I found they were discussing none other than yours truly—me! And not only were they discussing me (I get used to being the center of certain odd conversations), they were discussing my brazen summer attire—a bikini! At the local pool of all places! They all turned to ask me if it was true, did I really wear a bikini to the pool, and did I actually go swimming in it?? I turned a bit (ok, VERY) red, and said Yes, what else do you do at pools and what are swim suits for?? Then the discussion turned to how embarrassed they would be to wear anything that showed too much skin, and they never go in the water, and how brave I was….

I have since gone off the local pool, (it’s mostly the chlorine content that gives me incredible headaches, and the crowds that also give me bad headaches), but I am tempted to show up there this year and give the local gossip community something to discuss, I got a fabulous bikini from Victoria Secrets and my body is almost back in shape since my youngest was born.

Well, this conversation was wrapped up a few weeks ago when I was out at the river with a foreign friend, wearing none other than my bikini. We began to talk about how funny Japanese moms are, she told me she went to the river with some and she started spraying sunscreen all over her face and arms, and the moms started exclaiming “Aren’t you wearing makeup, what are you doing??” they were rather amazed that:
1. she wasn’t wearing makeup and
2. she was actually going to swim!
And so I told my friend my bikini story, to which she exclaims:
“So THAT was YOU!!—I had the oddest comment from one of my friends a few years ago, she said she’d heard that I’d been swimming at the pool in my bikini—and I don’t even own a bikini—it was YOU!!”

We once again realized how under a microscope our lives are when we are one of 5 foreigners in a small city!

Japanese women don’t NOT have nice bodies, they are pretty lucky to be blessed with small physiques, low body-fat, good skin, and after having a kid or two, with a bit of work you can regain a somewhat flat stomach. I wonder why they often hide their bodies under so many layers, especially in this humid Japanese heat, or feel that as they get older they must cover up more and more. I do understand protecting your skin from UV rays, but then there’s the part about enjoying stuff, being comfortable. Or maybe it’s just me, and with a lack of other foreign company, I find myself doing things with my kids that ordinarily I wouldn’t do if I were in my own home country. I still don’t think I’ve seen a ‘mother’ at the pool or beach in a ‘bikini’, that would be a rare breed of okasan!